The Dock: A Review

As I walk (stumble) into the Dock after having 2 (6) drinks at Clyde's - I was immediately overcome by the amount of (badly dressed wannabe MILFs) people. This place was rockin'! As the DJ spun some killer tunes, I met up with my friends only to find they had become acquainted with (were accosted by) some gentlemen (who dressed like they are E on "Entourage" but like 38). What did I care, as they bought me a drink? Booyah! We decided to make our way to the dance floor when I, being the politely trained gal that I am, bumped into a tall gentlemen and said (slurred), "excuse me". His immediate response (no lie): "I don't date white chicks." My super offended, racially relevant comeback was - "You and I are gonna dance to some Bell Biv Devoe later - just you wait!" (note: I am an ASS while drinking and find myself hillllllllllllarious).

The tunes ranged from the Bee Gees (kinda fun) to Souljaboy (shoot me) to Justin Timberlake (I was basically having intercourse with the dance floor on those). All of my friends got asked to dance over and over again (probably because they are good dancers and, like I mentioned, I was dry humping the tiles during "Sexy Back" by myself). But then it happened. I hear, "would you dance with me?" and I look up from my chair and there is a 4 foot tall Bermudan (Bermudian? Bahamian?). I think, "shit" and, due to peer pressure, dance with this garden gnome who has decided 'our song' is Shaggy's "Mr. Lava Lava" (I thought of you, Mols!). As I swing my arms around and swig my beer like the very white gal that I am, he proceeds to prance around me as if we are actually performing an Indian Rain Dance. After the song ended, he whispers (screams) into my ear, "I give you my number" and I say, "Oh, wow, you're nice and the dance was fun, but...oh this is awkward......" and that was officially the first time I've ever broken up with someone in my life.

Overall rating: A!!! We're all going! Get out your dancing shoes, beer goggles and people watching binocs! You were all missed! xo, Brie